Scripture says, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." (Hebrews 10:24) I've observed that some group leaders (or group leader teams) are more effective at "spurring their group members on." What makes them effective? One factor I've noticed is that they keep track of several important relational characteristics that help them know their group members better. When a leader knows his or her group members better, they know how to pray for them, they know what motivates them, and they know what helps them grow toward maturity. There is no statistical research behind the following observations. And not every small group leader who does the following things is effective, but, I have noted over time that effective small group leaders tend to keep track of the following things about their group members:
Testimony, background and heritage
Effective group leaders build a relationship with their group members by asking about their spiritual journey and family background. Much of how we think and our relationship to the Lord come from our past experiences. Knowing these things about a group member, helps leaders understand where to focus time and study during group gatherings.
Significant days for group members
Effective group leaders keep track of the birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant dates of group members. Not that they have to remember all these dates, but a card or phone call on a significant date conveys and models care and love.
Personality/Temperament
Effective group leaders know and help group members understand how their personality type impacts their relationship to God and others. There are several simple tools that can help identify personality types and corresponding strengths and weaknesses. One such tool can be found here.
Spiritual Gifts
Effective group leaders discover members' spiritual gifts and encourage them to use those gifts to serve one another. By using assessment tools and observation, gifts can be identified and developed and used in the context of the group's life together.
Love Language
Effective group leaders discover the ways group members express and receive love. The book "The Five Love Languages" is a good resource to help you discover your members' love languages. Knowing your members' love languages can help you guide members toward activities and practices that help them experience God's love as well as know how to love one another.
