Sharing Your Faith Without Embarrassment or Coercion

Here is a seven-step plan for you to follow.

Note: The following article has been excerpted from The Good and Beautiful Community, by James Bryan Smith.

Who should you witness to? What are the criteria in deciding who to share your faith with and when to share it? And finally, how do we go about it? The truth is, we are always witnessing, whether we know it or not. People are watching us, and our actions communicate something for good or for ill.

Having said that, I want to offer an exercise that will help us when we become more intentional about reaching out to others and drawing them into the life of faith. There are seven activities I have found helpful in the process, some of which will look different depending on our current relationship with the person we are witnessing to. If we know the person well, and he or she already trusts us, we can move more quickly through the process, even jumping all the way to the last act. Still, all of the previous parts are necessary because they remind us that we are not doing this alone but are relying on God at every juncture.

  1. Pray. The first thing we can do is pray for God to send us someone. This is a powerful prayer that nearly always gets answered, and soon. The Holy Spirit is far wiser and more knowledgeable than we are. He knows the needs of those we know. Pray not only for God to send those people your way, pray also that you would have eyes and ears to know it when they come. Perhaps there is a person who is already on your heart. Pray for that person and for God to create an opportunity to take a step toward faith sharing.
  2. Watch. Once you have prayed, keep watch. Ask God regularly: "Help me see who you are bringing me. Give me eyes of compassion. Let me know who it is and when I can take the next step." Remember the wisdom of the serpent.
  3. Reach out. Once you have a sense about who that person is and have sensed God preparing the relationship, find ways to reach out to the person in nonthreatening ways. Ask him or her to have coffee or to go to lunch. If this person is already someone you spend time with, reach out by asking nonthreatening yet searching questions, such as: "How are you feeling about life right now? What is working? What is missing?" If you do not know the person well, these questions will be too personal. Keep the conversation at a more basic level, but keep listening for clues to their heart.
  4. Listen. Listen well. This is so seldom done in our harried and hurried culture that it almost seems like a lost skill. Simply by listening you are demonstrating love. Listen for clues to the condition of the person's heart. What is he or she longing for? Struggling with? The best thing to ask yourself privately is, "Where do I think God is working in this person's life?" It may be healing from a divorce, the joy of a new job, or the grief of losing a loved one. Whatever it is, try to discover what the person cares about.
  5. Connect. It is at this stage that your understanding of the gospel (our God reigns and our God is with us) comes into play. If you have discerned what is pressing on the person's heart, try to connect his or her situation with the message of the gospel. Let's say you sense that a friend is struggling with grief over the loss of a loved one. Ask yourself, How does the gospel apply to her (or his) situation?

    There are many ways, but three come to mind. First, Jesus defeated death; second, God stands with us in our darkness; and third, God can do great things through our pain. If the relationship is strong enough to bear it, you may want to make those connections verbally by asking questions such as, "What is giving you hope right now? What keeps you going?" If the person is open, you will probably get a long answer. Try to continue making connections between the person's condition and the good news you know—without preaching. You are in a dialogue at this stage. At some point you might be able to more explicitly draw the connection between what is happening in his or her life and what God has done and will do.

free newsletter

Sign up for our free Small Groups Newsletter newsletter: Regular access to innovative training resources, Bible-based curriculum, and practical articles.


An Unremarkable Testimony
Some of us can’t pinpoint a moment of conversion, and that’s okay.
Following Jesus Into the Arts
Bringing real light to the lights of Hollywood
Loving Muslims One at a Time
Reaching out is easier, and more effective, than you may think.
Advance, with Erwin McManus (2 session study)
When moving forward with God, we should "go until we get a no."
The Gospel, a Napkin, and Four Circles
Examine a new way of expressing the gospel especially designed to explain God’s “Big Story” with diagrams simple enough to be drawn on a napkin at a coffee shop.