The "Us Four and No More!" Syndrome

Can your group remain closed indefinitely?

God created living organisms to go through life cycles. Jesus used these life cycles to illustrate points in many of His parables. Because churches and small groups are living organisms (1 Peter 2:4,5; 1 Corinthians 12:12-31; Ephesians 4:1-16)we would be well served to pay attention to life-cycles when it comes to discussions about 'open' and 'closed' small groups. Close knit communities go through healthy seasons of forming, storming, norming, performing and then sometimes reforming, or if the group slips down the other side of the curve, deforming and death. (For more information about group life cycles, see Small Group Dynamics, Seeds of Change - April 2000)

The question that is repeatedly asked is: "Can the down side of the life-cycle curve be avoided, or is it inevitable?" Can a group, whether a congregation or a small group, stay together, relatively intact, for long periods of time and maintain spiritual health and fruitfulness without new life and renewal being introduced? Can it really be "us four and no more" forever? I have become more and more convinced over the years that a group that is well into its life-cycle together can only sustain spiritual health and consistently experience seasons of renewal and rebirth by being open to new life coming into the group.

This new life can come in many forms: a new group member, a new group mission outside themselves, or the release of members to begin a new mission. To introduce God's new life, the group mission must include being "open" at times.

Periods of small groups being closed can be appropriate. Groups that are focusing on regimented curriculums, discipleship plans, recovery groups, support groups and even leadership training groups could all be legitimately closed for a period of time. Even Jesus had a closed group for nearly a three-year period of time.

However, in Jesus' case, or in other Christ-following small groups, periods of being closed were primarily growth and preparation times for new and expanded missions of outreach and service. In fact, Peter was exhorted at the Mount of Transfiguration (Luke 9:28-36) to not just build shrines of intimate experiences, but to move forward with mission and obedience.

From a functional standpoint, groups that are not declared to be closed may, in fact, operate as a closed group after a time of relationship building. The drift in groups where relational intimacy and relative comfort are present is towards 'ingrowth' and not outreach. As Robert Lewis says in the Church of the Irresistible Influence: "These groupings often end up as perpetual 'holding tanks' where Christians become increasingly comfortable with each other and themselves, and increasingly disconnected from our world. Many churches create small groups to meet the needs of its members. And since so many people have such deep spiritual needs, there is much good in this approach. But often it also leads to unhealthy consequences. Needs soon turn to wants. A toxic self-absorption can easily develop. 'Us' becomes all that matters. Spiritual impact is rarely contemplated beyond the borders of the group."

Tom Bandy of Easum, Bandy, and Associates has noted in a recent online coaching seminar that most churches offer small groups for the purpose of providing spiritual growth and social connections. His consulting experience has taught him that the #1 reason small groups fail to multiply in a church is that the participants 'love each other too much.' They think the goal has been harmony or serenity or good feelings…when in fact the goal is really mission productivity, personal deepening, and the like.

The spiritual leader of the group needs to keep this correct focus and goal before the group and discern when to push the group towards openness and when to retreat into the safety of intimacy.

Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, Arkansas, USA has been able utilize a rhythm of open and closed groups where people are allowed to experience small group life emphasizing relationships within specific affinities or life stages for a period of no longer than 3 years. After that period, they "graduate" into small groups of a Common Cause which emphasize service and outreach to those outside the group. Common Cause groups last for one year before they are required to "re-new." The idea of a group moving toward a common cause, a mission, is absolutely critical to its longevity and ultimate multiplication. They have found that small groups become unhealthy after a period of time if their prolonged focus and goal is their own growth and needs being met.

Keeping a group in a spiritually healthy balance of closed intimacy and open outreach requires Spirit-directed leadership and the incorporation of some essential practices. Russ Robinson and Bill Donahue teach in the "Building a Community to Reach a Community" conference that in order for small groups to avoid the drift towards being perpetually closed and embrace openness, the following openness essentials need to be in place:

Openness must be declared in the covenant. Small group members must agree to and own the idea that the group's purpose at some point includes reaching out beyond themselves.

There must be a mechanism for openness. Whether it involves praying for the open chair, having a "most wanted" outreach list, or scheduling an outreach service project, a tool or reminder of openness is critical.

It must be fostered through relationships not programs. Programs for openness and outreach can be great tools, but until your group members value openness in their own hearts and in their relationships, little progress will be made.

An apprentice leader must be identified and developed. An apprentice is a constant reminder to the group of the eventual growth and multiplication of the group's mission of openness.

Leaders must model inviting people to the small group. It is likely the leader will be the first and most active person in inviting new people to the group. A group leader's call for group openness is not going to have much impact without also walking the talk.

And then from time to time, evaluate the "Openness Value" in your small group.

Open vs. Closed - Continuum of Clarity

Passive commitment to openness

Covenants for openness

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Heart not open to outsiders

Creates a place (e.g. open chair)

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Fears losing intimacy

Intentionally builds relationships with outsiders

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Holds on to current leaders and roles

Seeks to develop new leaders

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No successful examples to follow

Leaders model how to invite and connect people

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