Confession

Discussion

Darryl's Dilemma

How do you start confession in your small groups?

Topics:	Accountability, Community, Confession, Leadership, Spiritual disciplines
Filters:	Coach, Group Leader, Member, New leader, Start
Purpose:	Fellowship
Date Added:	March 12, 2000

Add your own comment

Total Reader Responses: 1 (see below)

Darryl was reading the book of James lately when he came across this verse: "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" (5:16). It seems to him that his small group would be an excellent place to put this scriptural discipliner into practice, but he's afraid his group might not go for it.

What should Daryl do?

Here are Your Responses:

Ask the group if they are comfortable going deeper. A Small Group should be a safe place which means people can confess and be prayed for, and it will be held in confidence within the group. This is where true Christian community really kicks into high gear.

Tom Scanlan,: Crossroads Fellowship, Raleigh, NC

Darryl should begin to model it with himself. You can't sell the idea to the group and expect everyone to start confessing. The isssue of trust and safety are prerequisites to confessing sin. Trust should be built in that people are not going to judge you. You should feel safe that no member of the group is going to tell people out side of the group your issues. Trust/Safety and leaders modeling this will allow it to feel natural.

Ken Hewett, Grace Community

Darryl should first read the verse to his group. Then he should set an example and go first. Do not hold back, if you want others to confess their sins, we must not let the little ones out and hold back on the big ones, for all sins are sins, no matter how small or big, but to those who are really hurting and need to be set free, they can only if they know you can relate, you are also human, and sin has also caught you. Go for it Darryl!

Sharon K., Living Hope Community Church

Darryl should approach his group with the scripture and discuss with them what each one thinks the scripture is instructing them to do. With the groups permission he should model transparency by sharing any areas that he may need group support and accountability with to keep himself pure. He should regularly emphasize confidentiality and loving prayerful support in the group. Each person should be encouraged to share at their own pace as they feel "safe' to do so. As group members become convinced that the purpose is restoration and support they will feel more at ease to share openly their faults with one another.

Dirk Prise, Kaneohe Nazarene

As the leader, Darryl needs to lead. He should go first, stating something in his life he is struggling with and needs help to overcome. He must be careful, however, not to go too deep right away (saying he lusts after the women in his group or arrives drunk wouldn't be a good idea). Start out with something viewed as less "serious" like failing to spend time with God, or harboring anger toward his wife/friend. As he opens up, the rest of the group will see they too are allowed to open up. He should then change his prayer time to only requests for prayer that directly affect the member. Aunt Hessie's toe can be prayed for later, unless she lives with him and is causing relational problems. He sets the pace, no one will go where the leader won't lead.

Dan Pacheco, Crosstown Community Church

As with most things in my life, if I am stuck on what I should do in any situation I go to the Lord in prayer and ask him to give me the power of discernment so that I may hear what he is trying to tell me and see what he is trying to show me. Always ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" The answers to those questions can be found right in his word so that is what I would advise Darryl to do, go to the Lord first in prayer and he will guide you to where you need to go and what it is you need to do.

Paige East-Lewis, Brown Memorial baptist church

It's perfect … . use it! Group is about helping and healing each other, straight from the mouth of God … .

Heather, St. Francis Xavier

Try breaking into smaller groups of 3 for prayer time. Suggest to the groups that they share something they are stuggling with and read the scripture, James 5:l6. Have them pray for each other. Remind everyone that what is shared doesn't go beyond the group. Keep the same groups for a few months. Darryl needs to be open about his own weaknesses this will open others up also.

Ann Powell, Harvest Christian Fellowship

Confessing sins to each other is a biblical principle that we should practice with wisdom. The type of group will in some ways determine the type or level of confession that is wise. If the nature of the sin is sexual and the group is co-ed a group confession is usually not a good idea. A one on one time with a leader of the same sex is a very good first place to begin, with the possibility of coming to the group at a later time. The power of a group surrounding you with their prayers, love and acceptance even when you blow it should not be overlooked.

Jim Genet, World Outreach Church

Confession can be a powerful agent for spiritual growth within the life of a Christian, and small groups can be an excellent venue for this confession. However, it is important to go about it properly. Several excellent resources offer guidelines for this age-old spiritual exercise, but my favorite is Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together, chapter 5.

Tom Sweeney, Erindale Bible Chapel

Propose the idea to the group. If they reject it, so be it. In rejecting the idea, the group members will need to self examin. That in itself is a growth exercise.

Julia Duguay, Birch Cliff United

Start slowly. First divide your group into men in one room and woman in another for prayer request. Tell them to pair off and pray briefly for those request and to take a moment to confess any sin they wanted to repent of. Also, let them know that the person receiving the verbal confession has the responsibility to keep it confidential and to pray for the others strength to forsake that sin. Repeating this a few times with different partners over the course of several weeks will then lead to the practice being more comfortable in a group setting. Although, I still might keep it divided men and woman, the walls seem to come down better when this is the case.

Scott Walden, New Life Community Baptist in Gahanna, Ohio

Be sensitive to where his group is and take it slowly while determining the readiness of the group members. Real accountability in confessing sins requires a great deal of trust. Perhaps doing a study on the Book of James would be a way to work into sharing this verse at an in depth personal level. I would also pray alot about this one, the presence of the Holy Spirit would be greatly needed!

Star Heer, Lincoln Presbyterian

It really depends on how close the group is. If you drop a bomb on a surface level group you may well destroy it. However, if the group is close and has dealt with significant issues in the past, trust your group members and even more importantly, trust God. Go for it.

Brian Smith, Shadowbrook Baptist Church, Suwanee, Ga.

He should discuss with his group the possibility of confessing sins to each other as some people may not be comfortable with public confession.

Jennifer Wollesen, Faith Lutheran Church

Posted: January 08, 2009

Nicole Silvernail, Stonebriar Church (Guest)

It is important to know that you trust the people you are sharing with and that there is some kind of bond. The reason for this is to protect against false judgements and further, damaging a potential relationship. Openness is good, what the Bible says is true among the right individuals. However, wise dicernment is always good. Let's face it, we are all human and judgement hurts, especially when you open and people decide to shut the door. Pray and seek God's will, ask for his leading to open up and with whom.