Why Dividing Small Groups Is a Dumb Idea

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A commonsense look at a highly debated principle of small-group life

Larry Osborne | posted 9/01/2008

Topics:	Community, Connecting, Division of groups, Ending groups, Friendship, Relationships, Splitting groups
Filters:	Coach, Discipleship groups, Group Leader, Pastor, Train
Purpose:	Discipleship
References:	Proverbs 18:24 , Hebrews 10:25
Date Added:	September 01, 2008

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Dividing small groups is a dumb idea.

I know. Dumb is a strong word. But now that I've got your attention, let's see if you don't come to the same conclusion after we've looked more closely at this strategy's underlying rationale and unintended consequences.

For decades it's been an unquestioned canon within the small-group movement that healthy groups multiply by continually growing and splitting into new groups. Groups that stay together too long are considered stagnant. Those that fail to aggressively add new members are written off as uncommitted to the Great Commission. Any group that insists on remaining together gets tagged as selfish.

Admittedly, dividing to multiply is an idea that looks good on paper. It sounds great at leadership conferences. It's organic, mirroring the cellular growth of the human body. It offers the potential for unlimited kingdom expansion. It encourages people to reach out to the lost. It forces new leaders to step up and take the reins.

No wonder most small group gurus, church consultants, and pastors with a passion for evangelism and church growth swear by the concept.

But what about those who are in a small group? Fact is, they tend to see it differently—very differently. They generally hate the idea. They don't swear by it. They swear at it.

If you don't believe me, start asking people in churches where small groups are pressured to multiply by dividing. Ask them what they think of the empty chair they're supposed to fill during each session, and the expectation that they'll help grow the church by growing and then dividing their group.

Except for pastors, staff members, and church leaders who are professionally responsible for the growth of the church, you'll find that hardly anyone thinks it's a good idea—especially those who are fortunate enough to find a group filled with significant relationships. To most of them it makes no sense at all. After finally finding some people with whom they've closely connected, they don't want to split up and roll the relational dice once again.

It's too risky. It's painful. It's even a little bit cruel.

I've asked many of these folks why they don't simply dig in their heels and say no.
Some tell me they have, only to be written off as uncooperative and spiritually self-centered. Others tell me they've tried to raise their concerns but no one seems to listen. Most tell me they don't want to be branded as unspiritual or selfish, so they shrug their shoulders and go along with the program or quietly drop out at the first opportunity.

While many church leaders are quick to chalk up such responses as spiritually immature, shortsighted, or indicative of a lack of commitment to the larger cause of Christ, I think that's a mistake. It's not that these people are resistant to the Great Commission or don't want their churches to grow. It's simply that for many of them, their small group is the first time they've experienced the authentic and transparent relationships they've always been told Christians should have with one another. It's understandable they're reluctant to let it go. They know the odds of finding it right away in another group aren't too high.

Unintended Consequences

Actually, dividing to multiply can (and often does) work in the short run. But it usually takes only a couple of cycles before the process starts to lose steam and then stalls out. Trying to multiply a small group ministry by division is a lot like bulking up on steroids. After an initial burst of newfound strength and muscle, the unintended consequences start to show up. And when they do, it isn't pretty.

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December 02, 2009 3:09 PM

Nathan Creitz

I disagree! I often ask "How were the first disciples discipled?" The answer is by being around Jesus and each other A LOT! The small group that Jesus led is a great reminder of what the intended outcome is of bringing a small group of people together: expansion. Were the Twelve simply supposed to continue meeting together until Jesus' return? No, their small group launched them into an international ministry in which they did what Jesus did: taught the crowds AND spent time discipling others in homes and smaller settings. My point is that maybe the people who have had a bad experience and want to hang on to their close circle of friends just weren't prepared to produce? As leaders, isn't it up to us to "extend the family"? Best results happen when there is much prayer, preparation and communication about how a healthy group is supposed to produce other healthy groups. Who better to share the community with others than the people who have experienced it?

August 03, 2009 11:01 PM

Randall Neighbour

Michael Mack (the founder of smallgroups.com) has a great way of viewing small groups and group expansion. The parents in the group (leaders) do everything in their power to raise the young ones (members) into strong young adults who naturally want to move out of the house and start a spiritual family on their own. Staying at home well past a certain age is just weird, isn't it? Why Christians think they should stay in their small group forever is just as weird. What Larry completely ignores in this chapter of his book is the fact that small groups are not little collection cups for the Sunday service attendees. They are the church! Small group members should be trained and released for ministry. When this is done effectively, they naturally want to move out of their group and start a family of their own, just like a young adult. Forcing a group of consumer Christians to divorce is indeed dumb. Challenging the members to grow up and move out of their spiritual house is smart.

April 30, 2009 12:09 PM

Lisa Congo

Wow...I totally and completely disagree with most of this article. I do think if multiplying is dome carelessly and uncompassionately, it is very dangerous and potenitall destructive. But I have been a part of leading groups that have been birthing for the past 4 years and it has been a wonderful experience. It is painful...but is that a bad thing? I think the key to this whole topic is HOW small groups are birthed and the leadership of these groups during the birthing process. Careful, compassionate, wise and thoughtful small group midwivery has made this process incredibly valuable for our groups. Here's the deal, at some point groups that are connecting well inevitably grow and get ungangly because of its size. Read the signs well and the group will beging communicating it is ready for a birthing. Not birthing can be just as detrimental. On a side note, I find it offensive to be told that a ministry I have been leading for years, effectively is "dumb".