Why Dividing Small Groups Is a Dumb Idea

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A commonsense look at a highly debated principle of small-group life

Larry Osborne | posted 9/01/2008

Topics:	Community, Connecting, Division of groups, Ending groups, Friendship, Relationships, Splitting groups
Filters:	Coach, Discipleship groups, Group Leader, Pastor, Train
Purpose:	Discipleship
References:	Proverbs 18:24 , Hebrews 10:25
Date Added:	September 01, 2008

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Dividing small groups is a dumb idea.

I know. Dumb is a strong word. But now that I've got your attention, let's see if you don't come to the same conclusion after we've looked more closely at this strategy's underlying rationale and unintended consequences.

For decades it's been an unquestioned canon within the small-group movement that healthy groups multiply by continually growing and splitting into new groups. Groups that stay together too long are considered stagnant. Those that fail to aggressively add new members are written off as uncommitted to the Great Commission. Any group that insists on remaining together gets tagged as selfish.

Admittedly, dividing to multiply is an idea that looks good on paper. It sounds great at leadership conferences. It's organic, mirroring the cellular growth of the human body. It offers the potential for unlimited kingdom expansion. It encourages people to reach out to the lost. It forces new leaders to step up and take the reins.

No wonder most small group gurus, church consultants, and pastors with a passion for evangelism and church growth swear by the concept.

But what about those who are in a small group? Fact is, they tend to see it differently—very differently. They generally hate the idea. They don't swear by it. They swear at it.

If you don't believe me, start asking people in churches where small groups are pressured to multiply by dividing. Ask them what they think of the empty chair they're supposed to fill during each session, and the expectation that they'll help grow the church by growing and then dividing their group.

Except for pastors, staff members, and church leaders who are professionally responsible for the growth of the church, you'll find that hardly anyone thinks it's a good idea—especially those who are fortunate enough to find a group filled with significant relationships. To most of them it makes no sense at all. After finally finding some people with whom they've closely connected, they don't want to split up and roll the relational dice once again.

It's too risky. It's painful. It's even a little bit cruel.

I've asked many of these folks why they don't simply dig in their heels and say no.
Some tell me they have, only to be written off as uncooperative and spiritually self-centered. Others tell me they've tried to raise their concerns but no one seems to listen. Most tell me they don't want to be branded as unspiritual or selfish, so they shrug their shoulders and go along with the program or quietly drop out at the first opportunity.

While many church leaders are quick to chalk up such responses as spiritually immature, shortsighted, or indicative of a lack of commitment to the larger cause of Christ, I think that's a mistake. It's not that these people are resistant to the Great Commission or don't want their churches to grow. It's simply that for many of them, their small group is the first time they've experienced the authentic and transparent relationships they've always been told Christians should have with one another. It's understandable they're reluctant to let it go. They know the odds of finding it right away in another group aren't too high.

Unintended Consequences

Actually, dividing to multiply can (and often does) work in the short run. But it usually takes only a couple of cycles before the process starts to lose steam and then stalls out. Trying to multiply a small group ministry by division is a lot like bulking up on steroids. After an initial burst of newfound strength and muscle, the unintended consequences start to show up. And when they do, it isn't pretty.

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December 02, 2009 3:09 PM

Nathan Creitz

I disagree! I often ask "How were the first disciples discipled?" The answer is by being around Jesus and each other A LOT! The small group that Jesus led is a great reminder of what the intended outcome is of bringing a small group of people together: expansion. Were the Twelve simply supposed to continue meeting together until Jesus' return? No, their small group launched them into an international ministry in which they did what Jesus did: taught the crowds AND spent time discipling others in homes and smaller settings. My point is that maybe the people who have had a bad experience and want to hang on to their close circle of friends just weren't prepared to produce? As leaders, isn't it up to us to "extend the family"? Best results happen when there is much prayer, preparation and communication about how a healthy group is supposed to produce other healthy groups. Who better to share the community with others than the people who have experienced it?

October 29, 2009 5:17 PM

Tim Strickland

I am a home group leader with years of experience raising up leaders and starting new groups. I agree that using the term multiply is a bad idea. I also agree that forcing multiplications is rat her stupid. Home Groups absolutely have to start new groups. If they don’t then they are not being the church at all. Radical outreach is the core of the church. “Go and …” “Let your light shine…” If you don’t start new groups then you are not making disciples or participating in evangelism. Having deep and meaningful relationships is one element of a healthy group not the end goal. We Christians take for granted the family like relationships that we have. Most people in the world do not have friends like we Home Groupers do. We must start new groups to include outsiders. The end goal is share the Gospel of the Kingdom with the entire world, every lost soul. The end goal is not to sit in a living room week after week for the rest of your live with your closest friends. Your th

December 03, 2009 10:05 AM

Seth Widner (Registered User)

Hey Kim. I agree with Sam. You can gather your ladies together corporately for worship but it would be wise to subgroup during your time together. Sub-grouping will allow your ladies to develop closer friendships through prayer. On average, each person will need at least 4 minutes to share prayer requests. This way, they don't feel rushed and feel as if they have permission to open up. By sub-grouping, you can also raise up some other women as leaders. You can watch how they lead the ladies and coach them where needed. This will also develop trust between you, the upcoming leaders and the other ladies. It's a win win!