Why Dividing Small Groups Is a Dumb Idea
A commonsense look at a highly debated principle of small-group life
Larry Osborne | posted 9/01/2008
| Topics: | Community, Connecting, Division of groups, Ending groups, Friendship, Relationships, Splitting groups |
| Filters: | Coach, Discipleship groups, Group Leader, Pastor, Train |
| Purpose: | Discipleship |
| References: |  |
| Date Added: | September 01, 2008 |
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Dividing small groups is a dumb idea.
I know. Dumb is a strong word. But now that I've got your attention, let's see if you don't come to the same conclusion after we've looked more closely at this strategy's underlying rationale and unintended consequences.
For decades it's been an unquestioned canon within the small-group movement that healthy groups multiply by continually growing and splitting into new groups. Groups that stay together too long are considered stagnant. Those that fail to aggressively add new members are written off as uncommitted to the Great Commission. Any group that insists on remaining together gets tagged as selfish.
Admittedly, dividing to multiply is an idea that looks good on paper. It sounds great at leadership conferences. It's organic, mirroring the cellular growth of the human body. It offers the potential for unlimited kingdom expansion. It encourages people to reach out to the lost. It forces new leaders to step up and take the reins.
No wonder most small group gurus, church consultants, and pastors with a passion for evangelism and church growth swear by the concept.
But what about those who are in a small group? Fact is, they tend to see it differently—very differently. They generally hate the idea. They don't swear by it. They swear at it.
If you don't believe me, start asking people in churches where small groups are pressured to multiply by dividing. Ask them what they think of the empty chair they're supposed to fill during each session, and the expectation that they'll help grow the church by growing and then dividing their group.
Except for pastors, staff members, and church leaders who are professionally responsible for the growth of the church, you'll find that hardly anyone thinks it's a good idea—especially those who are fortunate enough to find a group filled with significant relationships. To most of them it makes no sense at all. After finally finding some people with whom they've closely connected, they don't want to split up and roll the relational dice once again.
It's too risky. It's painful. It's even a little bit cruel.
I've asked many of these folks why they don't simply dig in their heels and say no.
Some tell me they have, only to be written off as uncooperative and spiritually self-centered. Others tell me they've tried to raise their concerns but no one seems to listen. Most tell me they don't want to be branded as unspiritual or selfish, so they shrug their shoulders and go along with the program or quietly drop out at the first opportunity.
While many church leaders are quick to chalk up such responses as spiritually immature, shortsighted, or indicative of a lack of commitment to the larger cause of Christ, I think that's a mistake. It's not that these people are resistant to the Great Commission or don't want their churches to grow. It's simply that for many of them, their small group is the first time they've experienced the authentic and transparent relationships they've always been told Christians should have with one another. It's understandable they're reluctant to let it go. They know the odds of finding it right away in another group aren't too high.
Unintended ConsequencesActually, dividing to multiply can (and often does) work in the short run. But it usually takes only a couple of cycles before the process starts to lose steam and then stalls out. Trying to multiply a small group ministry by division is a lot like bulking up on steroids. After an initial burst of newfound strength and muscle, the unintended consequences start to show up. And when they do, it isn't pretty.
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cindy
Feeling kicked out of small group? I have a situation. I have led a church small group in Texas for a while now as a single adult. I will be married soon to another member of the singles small group, and there are no small groups specifically for engaged couples at our church. As we are not married yet, we are staying part of the singles group and are transitioning to let another single adult take it over. The problem is that we feel a distinct "drawing away" by the other members of our small group and the new leadership simply because we are engaged. At times they have made negative comments about marriage and how they are happy they can still "have fun" since they are not engaged. How do we deal with this?
Kevin Belton(Registered User)
The Neighborhood Small group I lead started large (8 couples) and remains large(7). After a couple of years we talked of dividing to multiply but it was obvious that no one wanted to leave. I come to realize we don't really need to limit the size of the group - the only size issue is size of the houses! We met as couples for 3 years, last year we started breaking into 2 groups - men & women and do separate studies on the same night in the same house. This has opened a whole new dynamic of learning and connecting. And while we are all really friendly with each other, there are definetly smaller groups within the group that have connected in deeper community! So we are no longer concerned with the size of the group as a whole, we consider ourselves open to whatevr and whomever God sends our way!
anonymous/joliet/IL
...I have been in a small group that split into three groups after the 2nd session and I really would be more comfortable with the original 22 people in the same room; and we actually split into different groups after one hour....does not seem as warm to me....would be more organized by the Pastor if we stayed in one group....everyone should have their opinion heard about possibilty splitting............this was a good article, thx.
Michael Mack(Registered User)
By the way, in reference to my last comment on this article, I gave many more examples of this and show how it can happen in my little book, The Pocket Guide to Burnout-Free Small Group Leadership. I'm not trying to promote the book here. But I do believe it provides a good response to this discussion that I don't have room to share here.
Michael Mack(Registered User)
I believe Larry is simply putting the emphasis on the wrong thing. I agree that dividing a group is dumb ... when that is the sole point of emphasis. But I believe small groups shoulod value growing spiritually, reaching out to others to invite them in, and sharing ownership and leadership within the group. These are some of the factors in what makes a group healthy. After a lot of experience in the trenches, I 've learned that group health is a good thing to emphasize. A healthy group (like any other healthy organism) eventaully and naturally grows and reproduces itself. I no longer tell our groups they must split or reproduce or birth or whatever you want to call it. Yet I'm seeing more of our groups multiply organically than ever before. But these groups must be healthy! (Who would want to reproduce an UNhealthy group?) Health of a group includes a couple vital factors, one of which is a core team that shares leadership.
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