How to Pray for Another Group Member

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Practical advice for a sometimes sensitive subject

Randall Neighbour | posted 12/08/2008

Topics:	Group dynamics, Intercession, Member, Prayer
Filters:	Group Leader, Lead, Member, New Member, Prayer groups
Purpose:	Discipleship
References:	1 Samuel 12:23 , Romans 8:26 , James 5:16
Date Added:	December 08, 2008

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Each week, I have the opportunity to pray for other members of my small group. When it comes time to pray, I always take a deep breath and ask myself the following question: "Am I about to pray a nice, rehearsed prayer, or do I know without a doubt that I'm about to pray something God has given me that will be powerful?"

This stops me cold most of the time. My head is often filled with trite thoughts and earthly advice given in the form of a prayer for a person, and that's the last thing they need! So, I hold back and ask God to tell me how to pray for them. If I don't hear anything, I remain silent.

Hearing God First

When I do hear God's prompting, I go ahead and pray aloud or share what I need to share with the person. If you don't know the difference between your own voice and God's, just remember that when God give you the words, it's powerful. You'll know it, the group will know it, and the person receiving the words will know it.

It's also important that you remember to speak or pray the truth in love. Often, I know exactly what God would want to say to a person, but my attitude toward him or her is not right, and it would only come out as a harsh criticism or condemnation. In these instances, I don't share; I ask God to speak to the person directly and use others who can deliver the message in love.

About once a month, I hear God say to me, "Someone has a word of encouragement for this person, but it's not you." I'm always faithful to risk telling our small group that I believe someone has a word of encouragement for the person, but is holding back. In most cases, this is true. Someone has something powerful to share or pray over the person in need, but is too scared to do it. This gives them permission to share it during the meeting, be it right or wrong. Or, they call or meet the person between meetings and share what God has given them.

In other cases, I totally confuse the voice of God with the rumbling in my stomach from the extra slice of pizza I had for dinner. That's why it's so important for the small group to have permission to say, "I don't think that was the Spirit of God talking to you, Randall." Believe it or not, this still happens to me; I'm always learning about hearing God's voice!

If this whole subject of hearing the voice of God is foreign territory to you, just start asking God to speak to you each day when you spend time with Him. He's always been a great communicator, and He'll most certainly begin to speak to you through His written Word (the Bible), through other believers, and through thoughts that pop into your head that you know could not have come from you.

Just remember this rule of thumb: God never contradicts Himself. So, if you think you hear God's voice about something or receive a word of encouragement for someone in your group, ensure that it doesn't go against the Bible—and that your small group agrees that it's from God.

What's Said in the Meeting Stays in the Meeting

There's a story about a small group who had developed a deep level of transparent sharing with one another. One night the ministry question was, "What is your greatest struggle today?" Each person shared honestly, and it was turning into an awesome time of transparency. The leader just knew the ministry time to follow would be powerful. Then the last person shared, saying, "My greatest struggle is gossip, and I just can't wait to get out of here!"

All jokes aside, I feel it's important to end this article with a word about confidentiality. Gossip, even in the form of a prayer request on behalf of another member, is damaging beyond one's wildest understanding. Your small group is probably the only place where people will share their hurts, expecting others to love them unconditionally. Part of truly loving other members in your group is not sharing their words, thoughts, or feelings with others.

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Thadine

December 15, 2008 6:02pm

Great article. It's so important to wait for what God has to say. I often see people using prayer as a way to preach their own ideas to a person in need ("Lord, please help Jane realise what she's doing is wrong...") instead of letting God guide us in what to pray. There's nothing wrong with times of silence during group prayer - I'd rather silence than people using many words, praying those "nice, rehearsed prayer[s]" you mention.

Claudia Mazariegos

December 12, 2008 7:38pm

I enjoyed this reading. It spoke to me about praying of others, specially cz sometimes in small groups it's difficult people pray for others. Tnks & blessings!!!

Mary Wight

December 11, 2008 1:43am

This hs really spoken to me especially about gossip

William

December 10, 2008 8:31pm

Reality. Especially the focus on confidentiality - the entrusting - is so important as we all risk be transformed (truly changed) into the Christ life. Thanks Randall.