Cutting the Cord

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Here's how to successfully "birth" a new small group from an existing one.

Eric Metcalf | posted 5/28/2008

Topics:	Birthing groups, Division of groups, Growth, numerical, Multiplication, New groups
Filters:	Coach, Group Leader, Train
Purpose:	Discipleship
References:	Matthew 18:20
Date Added:	May 28, 2008

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First love often seems perfect in our minds—the season, the romance, the memories. For many people, their first small-group experience also seems perfect. They wonder, "How could any group be as good as this one?" That's why birthing a new small group can be a scary proposition.

For those of you who have had a child, your first birthing experience is vividly etched in your minds—crazy, scary, beautiful, awesome, or whatever mix of emotions was strongest for you. What's more, that first birthing experience colored or influenced your feelings about your second child's birth. In the same way, your first small-group "birthing" experience, good or bad, has a lot of psychological power to influence later births with fear or excitement. So birthing your group in the right way will produce a positive legacy.

Let's get a proper definition to start out. Birthing a new small group—or multiplying or reproducing, or whatever term you use for it—should be a local missionary "sending" experience. It is the disciple-making mechanism that has exponential potential for reaching an exponentially growing world.

There are several ways that such a birth can take place:

The apprentice leader stays with the current group, while the leader births out and forms an entirely new group.
The leader stays with the current group, while the apprentice leader births out and forms an entirely new group.
Either the leader or the apprentice births out, and the current small group divides between them to form two new groups.
A new group is formed outside of the current group, and several members of the current group break out to join it. (The outside group could be formed by someone who has just finished a turbo-group experience, for example.)

Prepare for the Birth

Whichever method your group chooses, there are certain steps that you can take to prepare for the birthing experience and minimize the pain. First, be sure to start "subgrouping" various parts of each meeting. For example, split into two groups when it comes time to pray, and have the apprentice lead one and the leader take the other. In time, the apprentice can begin leading entire meetings. The goal is to allow each person in the group—over a course of several weeks—to experience having the meeting led by the apprentice.

It's also important that both the leader and apprentice begin looking for new apprentices. The perfect birth happens when both the leader and the apprentice have new apprentices ready to help with the start or continuation of the two groups moving forward.

Finally, make sure the existing group has had time to build intimacy before the birth. Spend time in the group and out of the group learning one another's stories. Take pictures or videos of the existing group, and make sure everyone gets copies. Also, make sure everyone knows each other's phone numbers and e-mails (keep the roster current). Nothing is worse than going through a small-group birth and feeling like you never had the chance to get to know the people in your group.

Have a Birthing Plan in Place

Follow these steps to keep things smooth and healthy during the birth:

Make sure the new group leader has been intentionally apprenticed by an existing, mature group leader.
Make sure the church leadership is aware of the birth—whether a coach, shepherd, pastor, etc. Also, make sure that the church leadership has talked through the needs of the new group and is ready to offer support.
Speak to the group members individually about the birth, and cast a vision for their decision regarding which group to participate in. Everyone needs to make their own decision, and no one should be forced to go or stay.

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