Though confrontation is difficult, it can be essential to small group health.
by Life Together
Connie loved to talk. Most of all, she loved to psychobabble.
She'd prattle on during Bible study: "My boyfriend won't talk about the future of our relationship, but he spends each weekend with me. I think he likes me. But why doesn't he tell me his true feelings? Is he just being a guy? Does he not like me? Then why hasn't he broken up with me? Can we have a relationship if we don't communicate?"
Steve Gladen is pastor of the Small Group Network at Saddleback Church, where he oversees 2,500 adult small groups. In that capacity, he loves watching a big church become small through true community developed in group life. Steve is the author of several resources, including ...
You'll probably need to use these tips sooner than you'd like.
by Gordon MacDonald
A majority of pastors are "feelers," meaning that the feelings, the dignity, and the approval of people tend to rank high in their decision-making process.
Since I am by nature a "feeler," having to rebuke someone has always been difficult for me. I would rather be rebuked than to rebuke. Why? I struggle with the confidence that my judgment of a person's actions or attitudes is the correct one because ...
Sooner or later, every small group will experience conflict. In some groups, conflict will become evident from the first meeting. In others, great pain is taken to avoid conflict. The members maneuver around it and make it clear that "we don't do conflict here." But the ways we behave ...
How to manage difficult personalities within your small group
Janet McMahon
The group was new—we had only been together for five or six weeks. That's why I was happy to see a new couple walk into the room. I was also happy to see that everyone greeted them warmly. But about 30 minutes into our meeting, the warm temperature of the group began to cool. The regular members began to exchange looks across the room, and the question on everyone's mind was, "Who invited these ...
Practical information that will help you prepare for that inevitable clash
Abigail Johnson
Depending on how conflict was dealt with in our families—and depending on our own conflict style—we may be more or less comfortable with this area of small-group life. Personally, I assume that conflict is a normal part of all human interactions. Nonetheless, some types of conflictive behavior are easier to deal with than others.
When interacting with my family, I prefer a forthright sharing ...
She's not doing it maliciously, but her gossip is destroying the group.
Pat J. Sikora
"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:13).
Griselda Gossip can't help herself. Every time someone in the group discloses a deep personal need, Griselda finds someone else to share it with. She doesn't do this maliciously. Sometimes she's simply sharing a prayer request that isn't hers to share. When the word gets back to the group members they stop sharing ...
As a coach, there are several questions you need to ask yourself when helping a leader through conflict.
Rick Lowry
I am a coach or director in a small group ministry. When a leader comes to me asking for help resolving a conflict within their group, what questions should I ask myself before responding?
Is this the right time and place to be discussing this?
The church lobby between services is not the place to discuss a group conflict with a leader. One-on-one, in a quiet, relaxed setting is optimal.
In complex issues, if you know your own preferred reaction to conflict, it can help you choose the right course.
Betty Veldman Wieland
Conflict is a normal part of small group life. In fact, if we don't have conflict, someone is not being honest. People are just too different from one another to avoid it completely. I do not like conflict. It makes me feel, well, conflicted! At the same time, I believe that understanding the nature of conflict and being prepared to deal with it as a small group leader, coach, or staff person is essential ...
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