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Q & A

Q & A Discussion: Sharina Husted

The time and effort I’m spending with my small group is starting to have a detrimental effect on my family. How can I balance those two responsibilities?

Sharina Husted responds in our Q & A discussion.

Topics:	Family, Family groups, Priorities, Time management
Filters:	Group Leader, Member, Train
Purpose:	Ministry
References:	Ephesians 5:25 , 1 Timothy 5:8 , Hebrews 10:25
Date Added:	April 20, 2009

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Total Reader Responses: 3 (see below)

When a person expresses that small-group involvement is affecting their family life, it usually tells me that their problem is more than the small group. Their problem is an overall life-management issue, and the small group is only one aspect of the larger issue.

For most people, being involved in a small group shouldn't take more than two or three hours a week out of their schedule. If everything else is properly prioritized, it shouldn't cause pressure and problems in marriage and family life. So, if there is an issue, a person needs to be honest about his or her own life to see that a lack of proper time management is at the heart of the problem.

If a personal crisis is happening in the family—which can occur even if a person manages their time well—then the family needs to have priority over the small group. Physical health issues, care for aging parents, children with addiction issues, or even financial struggles can arise even with the most disciplined persons. Those issues need to be given attention, time, and energy—and they should be given the highest priority.

Posted: May 12, 2009

Rick Craig (Registered User)

The demand placed on leadership within a small group can become overwhelming and potentially detrimental to one's personal life--namely, home life. As a small group leader--a better lens to look through as a leader is really a shepherd of the flock--your responsibility is also to find a co-leader and apprentice, so the leadership blessing/burden is shared for this very reason. And, through shared leadership the co-leader and apprentice are trained, so they, too, one day will birth a group. There are potentially a number of reasons a leader could be experiencing stress, but looking at the leadership dynamics within a group says a lot. Find one or two co-leaders to work with; this is our proven model for 36 groups within our church.

Posted: May 01, 2009

Renee (Guest)

I have been there. The leader needs to ask herself if she is using good boundaries with the group, or being codependent, or being a perfectionist as a leader. When I was a new leader I felt I had to meet every group member's needs and do everything perfectly--which was a way to make myself feel successful, but also put me on a fast track to burnout. Ask yourself what really must be done and what can be delegated; pray for wisdom and ask for advice from other leaders. I found that my problem was drivenness, not the group's demands. Eventually, through prayer, counsel and experience I found balance. I also had to deal with my own past issues that were causing me to respond like this and find my identity in my role as a leader, rather than as a child of God. As I became healthier, I was able to balance my ministry roles better.

Posted: April 23, 2009

Liina (Guest)

*If there is a crisis in the family, it would be good that the group or somebody from the group supports facing it and dealing with it. * Perhaps it would be good to look for ways to involve the families more into the group activities.