Q & A
Q & A Discussion: Bill Search
How do I get my group members to fellowship with one another outside of our group meetings?
| Topics: | Community, Connecting, Fellowship, Friendship |
| Filters: | Group Leader, Host, Member, Train |
| Purpose: | Fellowship |
| References: |  |
| Date Added: | September 08, 2009 |
Not every group will become a gathering of close friends. But we don't have to have "intimacy" as a goal in order to encourage our members to grow closer. A friend of mine often says that it's important to build the relational bridge strong enough to hold the weight of truth. In other words, if we want our group time to get deep, we should encourage stronger relationships. And while there's plenty we can do within the group time that will foster close relationships, there are also some things we can do outside of the normal meeting that will build bridges.
First, get the small group smaller. Encourage people in the group to meet in smaller clusters for dinner, dessert, or coffee. These smaller encounters provide a place to tell more stories and learn more about each other. Some groups develop a rotation schedule for the smaller small group so that each person or couple meets up with everyone else in the group.
Second, plan a group retreat. Go overnight and carpool to the destination. The planning process alone with build and stretch the relationships. But the journey and the experience will provide stories and laughter for years to come. I still remember the gross hot tub at the bed and breakfast from a group retreat years ago. It was the source of all sorts of jokes.
Third, once a quarter (or more frequently if you're up to it) plan a potluck. There's nothing like time around a table to draw people together. Besides, you'll be adopting a practice common in the early church nearly 2,000 years ago. After the meal, play a game like bocce ball or croquet in the warmer months or board games if the weather is inclement.
Finally, encourage members to keep up with each other via e-mail or phone. I remember when my new small-group friend Rob used to randomly call me. At first I wondered what he wanted. Then I remembered that this is what friends do—check in with each other. Those random calls drew Rob and me closer together.
It's the stuff that members do outside of the group that will further enrich the time they spend in it.
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Beyond Bill's excellent advice, I'd like to add the following: • On a monthly basis (ie, the first meeting of the month) ask two members in the group to share a project or chore they need to get done around their home and then open it up for the other group members to volunteer to help them get it done. It might be painting a bedroom, cleaning out a garage, moving someone's apartment furniture, holding a garage sale, and so forth. By asking a couple of the members to share these kinds of things with the whole group, it encourages some low-level transparency and allows other members to serve. • Ask everyone to get their cell phone out during the meeting and put the numbers of all the other members in their phones. Then, ask everyone to pray for the person on their left that week and call them within 24 hours to ask about a specific thing they could pray about. • The last thing is for the leader to be an example. Hanging with members between meetings is infectious and vital!
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