Q & A
Q & A Discussion: Bill Search
How do I decide if my group should be open or closed?
| Topics: | Cliques, Closed groups, Connecting, Guests, New member, Open groups, Relationships, Visitors |
| Filters: | Group Leader, New leader, Train |
| Purpose: | Evangelism |
| References: |  |
| Date Added: | August 19, 2008 |
For years we have been told that the only good group is an open group. I recall the guilt laid upon my group when we didn't keep a chair open for outsiders. After all, the reasoning went, if we really enjoyed the fruits of community, shouldn't we want to extend that to others? Secretly, most of us felt that if our community was fruitful, adding new people might mess it all up.
In our broken, relationally fractured world, we don't want to risk our healthy community if we finally experience it. That's why in my experience, I have observed that there are times when it's good for a group to be open and times when it's good for a group to be closed.
A group is most open when it's new. During the first few months of a new group, the relationships are fresh and just beginning to form. There is typically a natural hospitality toward new people. This is a great time to add unconnected people. It's also helpful to open the group when it is very small. If a couples group has only two or three couples, for example, adding another two or three more couples will often excite and energize the group dynamic.
But there are also times when it's wise to consider closing the group. If your group is beginning to hit a relational stride with each other where people are opening up and sharing their honest thoughts, adding new people might shut that down. You may want to allow that stage to mature a bit before adding new people. Also, if your group has been together for a few years, it might be awkward for a new person to join. If your long-term group wants new people, consider adding three or four people so that one person isn't consistently put on the spot.
Ultimately, your group has to prayerfully consider if you are open or closed. My friend Dave leads a really large small group. His evangelistic heart insists that he invite new people into his group, and over the years it has grown to nearly 40 people! But he and his wife help everyone find their place and relationally connect to Jesus and to one another. I don't think Dave would ever close his group. However, a group of four men who meet to read God's word and confess sin to each other should be cautious about whom they invite.
The key is to listen to God, and to each other, and determine if you are open or closed.
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I believe a person who has heavy guilt and hard core sin to lay down must feel comfortable with the group he's in. That said, I further believe it is highly probable this person is going to pick and choose the information they impart if the group's size or personalities unexpectedly change from time to time. It would not be in this person's best interest to be in a group he doesn't have complete trust, in. Let's face it, there is a need to lay it all on the table in order for the healing process to begin. Furthermore, I believe wholeheartedly that this person is prone to getting lost in the group or take a back seat, if you will. As far as those persons who tend to dominate a group's time must be dealt with as the the situation calls for. They (dominators) can appear in a large or small group so in this particular case I feel size doesn't matter.
This makes good sense. I'm wondering if who the person is that is interested in the group needs to be taken into consideraton. Will this person fit? Is this person going to dominate or get lost in the group?
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