Helping a Fellow Leader
Darryl senses his co-leader is struggling.
| Topics: | Friendship, Group leader, Guidance, Leadership, Problems, Support |
| Filters: | Coach, Director, Facilitator, Group Leader, Lead |
| Purpose: | Discipleship |
| Date Added: | December 05, 2011 |
Jake and Darryl have been leading their men's small group together for about a year, and they've grown very close. Jake and Darryl are about the same age, and they enjoy seeing superhero movies and reading comics. They spend time together doing some of their favorite things.
Darryl and Jake also meet together in an accountability group with five other men from their church every Saturday morning. All of the men are leaders in the church, and they know how important it is to be committed to these meetings, to get support as they lead others.
Two months ago, Jake and his girlfriend broke up. He seemed to be doing all right, but in the past month Jake has made it to only one accountability group meeting. He has also seemed distant at their small-group meetings. And when Darryl invited him to see a movie this past Saturday, Jake declined, referring to some mysterious things he needed to take care of. Darryl is concerned that Jake is purposely backing away from the group and their friendship. Worse, Darryl knows that Jake has struggled with depression.
Today Darryl received an e-mail from Jake explaining that he's too busy to come to their small group this week. What should Darryl do?
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I like the previous counsel from both of my brothers in Christ. I believe prayer for wisdom should always precede approaching a brother or sister in Christ who is in spiritual distress; however it is critical that we never let fear of what might happen when we approach stop us from putting our love in motion. It's really a heart breaker when life's struggles reveal that what we thought was a really close and intimate relationship with someone in Christ was really nothing more than "fair weather" one. Been there! The risks are too great to let someone slide without doing everything possible to turn them away from the "cliff" they are heading for. Given the likely consequences of non-action, it is important we not let them fall without fighting for them. We cannot ignore the fact that in many of these occasions, Satan is the "crouching lion" who is waiting for the weakened one to separate from the pack so that he can pounce. Not giving those I care about up without a fight!!!
If he doesn't already have a "leading" from the Lord, which would be different than his own feelings emerging from his relationship with Jake, he should spend time with the Lord in prayer about Jake and the Lord will give him understanding about Jake, and may even tell him what to do. If necessary, the Lord may even draw Darryl into intercessory prayer for Jake at which time Jake would probably receive a touch from God in a way that uplfts him, renews his faith--of course, that depends on how Jake responds to the Lord's touch, too.
come on, someone, answer this.....I wanna hear your responses. I think this is a serious issue, and as a group leader, I'd like some suggestions in the event I need to deal with this.
Give him a call requesting lunch to honestly see how he is doing and what he has been up to. Making sure that he knows he has a friend...not someone that will abandon him.
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