An Age-Old Problem

Discussion

Darryl's Dilemma

Age is becoming a problem in Darryl's small group, how should he handle it?

Topics:	Group dynamics, Interaction, Relationships, Stereotypes
Filters:	Coach, Director, Pastor, Seniors, Train
Purpose:	Fellowship
Date Added:	August 12, 1997

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Total Reader Responses: 0 (see below)

Bob and Betty are older adult members of Darryl's group. They are both in their mid-seventies. The rest of the group is in their twenties and thirties. This has been a good situation since the group's inception a year and a half ago, but a few members have recently told Darryl that they wished the group members "had more in common with one another."

What Should Darryl do?

Here's Your Responses:

The issue is not one of age! (Sue Ellen's observation). There is much in common. That is why Paul addressed the church in Crete through Titus to have the "older" women to encourage the "younger" wormen to. … and he lists very practical issues of COMMONALITY. Think of all of the fun topics that can be generated through discussions of: Who keeps the checkbook (finances), Diapers, baby powder, and You (How to care for little ones), Fogging up the glasses (Keeping the Intimacy in Marriage), Running for the Finish Line (Keeping perspective through life's journey), and the list goes on and on! A couple in their 70's could give a perspective to us younger families. This would allow them to use their gifts and experiences and would bring humility (much needed) into our lives as we develop a teachable spirit.

Proverbs 20:29 says, "The glory of young men is their strength, and the honor of old men is their gray hair." David said in Psalms 37:25, "I have been young, and now I am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread."

For a young person to be in a group with older people and say there is no commonality is symptomatic of the Boomer generation where entertainment and activity are King, not wisdom, quiet, and giving honor to those of greater spiritual maturity or experience.

By the way, my wife and I are in our late 30's, early 40's (I would never divulge who is what age!)

Tom and Sue Ellen Rayborn, Westminster Presbyterian Church, PCA

Before anything Darryl should present the problem before the Lord in prayer.

Wes Latham, Abilene Mission / Harris Home Fellowship

Without more specifics, my assumption is that that the yonger members of your group are having a difficult time relating to the older couple. I would first evaluate if the people making the complaint seem to be narrow in their thinking toward seniors. I would think that a study on marriage or relationship could benefit from the wisdom from a senior couple. Yet, if the senior couple is a source of irritation because of their personality then that's another issue all together. While I understand that younger couples would like to have people their own age to relate to it sounds like there are already young couples in the group and I feel that if you were creative you could utilize the senior's wisdom.

The other suggestion is to have a private conversation with the senior members and just ask them "how they're enjoying the group." Tell them, if it's true, that you're glad they're in the group but you're wondering if they are feeling uncomfortable with so many young couples. You're just talking to them like on a fact finding mission to make sure their needs are being met.

Ned, Desert Winds Community Church, Palmdale CA