The Top 10 Mistakes Small-Group Leaders Make (Part 1)

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Learn how to avoid and overcome them for the benefit of your group.

Randall Neighbour | posted 9/06/2010

Topics:	Distractions, Encouragement, Equipping, Motivation, Training
Filters:	Group Leader, New leader, Train
Purpose:	Ministry
References:	1 Corinthians 9:24
Date Added:	September 06, 2010

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Note: This is Part 1 of a two-part article. In Part 2, Randall Neighbour explores the final five mistakes that commonly affect small-group leaders.

Let me begin with a confession: I am the most qualified person to write this article, because I am guilty of every mistake covered here. If you don't believe me, ask my wife! Seriously, the mistakes I have made through the years help me see gaps in my spiritual walk and skill as a leader. Instead of trampling my self-esteem with guilt, I use mistakes as learning experiences. If I don't repeat them, I have learned something more valuable than any training class can offer.

Here's what I see as my primary task as a small-group leader: to help my group reach the lost and raise up new leaders, expanding the works of God's people. When this doesn't happen consistently, I know I'm making mistakes that will kill my group. That may sound overly dramatic to you, but it's painfully true. Small groups die all the time and it's usually due to one or more of the reasons discussed below.

Some time ago I asked 500 small-group leaders these three questions:

What's the biggest mistake you've made as a small-group leader?
How did you correct the problem or avoid making it a second time?
What have you learned from the experience, or how has it changed your leadership style?

Those who responded were very honest, and it took guts. Their answers have been condensed into the following list of ten—these are real mistakes made by real people, with real lessons learned. This list is by no means complete, but it touches on key issues that will make or break your ministry as a small-group leader.

1. "I operated passively without goals."

Leaders who "follow their nose" never gain any ground in reaching the lost or developing leaders. They wander aimlessly without a plan of action to storm the gates of hell and set captives free. But as I visit with successful small-group leaders around the world, they all have common goals of reaching X number of people for Christ by a certain date and raising up enough leaders to pastor the new believers in new groups. This drives the leaders to invest time with their members, unsaved friends, and relatives attached to the group. The responsibility of meeting the goal is not completely shouldered by the leader, but he or she owns the goal and sets the example for the rest of the group.

These leaders are also accountable to their church leadership. Each week, they eagerly meet with their pastor or coach to find ways to meet or exceed the stated goal.

So, if you want to succeed as a group leader, set realistic growth goals. Submit your goals to your leadership so you can be held accountable. Then get to work meeting those goals, removing all obstacles that get in your way. Remember: "Run as to win the prize."

2. "I released an untrained apprentice."

Years ago, I watched a small-group leader multiply his group and give half his members to his apprentice. As the weeks passed, I watched the new leader struggle in her role, losing member after member. They didn't feel loved by her, and she didn't know how to love them with servanthood.

The original leader's mistake stemmed from not giving the responsibility of the original group to his apprentice months before the multiplication date. Although she facilitated the meeting a dozen times, she had very little servanthood experience. What she lacked was the daily interaction between a leader and members that refines the leader and builds a new team.

If you're not transferring an increasing amount of leadership responsibility to your apprentice, you're setting them up for defeat. You'll also wound group members you dearly love when they multiply off with this new leader. Give your apprentice the reigns of leadership a little at a time over the course of six months, and then back off and let them be the "senior leader." Your role then will be one of a consultant, and if you've trained them well, you will experience some rest as they lead the members.

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Bruce England

September 13, 2010 7:56pm

Great and to the key task of a S.G. leader, reach the "lost" and develop leaders. It is so easy to get caught up internally within the group and forget the Holy Spirit is waiting for the next candidates. A static condition is not the "Plan".

Very Grateful

September 13, 2010 1:45pm

Your comments were very informative and real. I will definitely operate with these principles in the background of the group I'm in charge of looking forward to part 2. Thanks again you hit the nail on the head.

Please pray

September 11, 2010 2:04am

Please pray our church building work, may the Lord bless you more and more in your life. Pastor M.Anburaj

Phil McLain

September 08, 2010 7:18pm

thanks for the help... looking forward to part 2

Mary Gonsior

September 08, 2010 5:41pm

I enjoyed reading your article - can't wait for part II.