Nine Ways to Support Your Support Group

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Support groups are an essential part of your church's ministry in a world full of hurt.

by Randy Christian | posted 1/12/2007

Topics:	Compassion, Encouragement, Leadership, Management, Planning, Publicity, Starting groups
Filters:	Connect, Director, Pastor, Recovery groups, Support groups
Purpose:	Fellowship
References:	2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Date Added:	January 12, 2007

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I watched the TV screen scroll through the public-service announcements, finally seeing the one I'd been looking for: "Divorce Recovery Group," it read, with information and the name of our church below. In the past year I have received dozens of phone calls regarding this group, and more about others we sponsor. It's one way our church is responding to the needs around us.

More and more churches are offering divorce-recovery, addiction-recovery, grief, cancer, pregnancy, parenting, and retirement groups, among others. These support groups give a forum whereby people can stand by one another, support and encourage one another, and receive, in the process, the very comfort of God (2 Cor. 1:3-7).

Many churches, however, hesitate to start a support group because they simply feel unqualified. Yet the process isn't as intimidating as it sounds. Here, for example, are the steps our church takes in forming support groups.

Step One: Identify an Appropriate Need

I wouldn't start a support group simply because someone decided the church should have one. Groups need to meet legitimate, existing, and usually felt needs.

One church, looking at community demographics, learned that in many homes both parents worked, leaving many children alone for several hours after school. These "latchkey homes" shared a common need, and the parents were keenly aware of the problems. So the church launched a support group for them.

Another church used a congregational survey. They had assumed people wanted help with parenting skills but were surprised to find many of their people were enduring one form of grief or another. So they formed a grief group.

Step Two: Select the Right Leader

Since a support group isn't a therapy group, the leader need not be a professional. However, he or she must be qualified. Because support-group participants are particularly vulnerable and must be protected accordingly, the potential leader ought to possess several qualities:

Personal maturity. I look for both emotional and spiritual maturity.

John was an alcoholic who badly needed support to stop drinking. He began going to a support group for alcoholics led by Shawna.

Shawna had a strong personality and believed in what she was doing. She also used her leadership to bolster her ego. John began staying after meetings to talk with her about his drinking. Soon they were having dinner together, and then having an affair. As soon as he and Shawna broke up, he quit attending the group and began drinking again.

Leadership potential. This includes the abilities to listen, guide discussions, present accurate information, and handle the unexpected.

I once participated in a marriage-enrichment group in which the leader introduced a simple exercise. In the middle of his instructions, one man became extremely agitated and left abruptly. His wife broke down sobbing, while the group stared at the woman and the leader.

The leader had the presence of mind to take a break; he then explored the situation with the man's wife privately. When the group came back together, he encouraged the woman to talk about the struggle she and her husband were having with the group, and the group gave her the support she needed. That leader had made sound judgments in a tense situation.

Personal credibility. One woman told me she felt comfortable coming to our abuse-recovery group because the leader was someone she could identify with. A member of an abusers group told me he continued to attend only because the group leader spoke from experience. Another group member told her leader, "I like coming here because I know you are a 'real' person, just like me."

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