Dying to My "Accomplished" Self

To fulfill God's purposes sometimes we have to let go of our own.

Five years ago, I was discouraged like never before. My colleagues had let me down at work, financial burdens overwhelmed me, and my marriage was splintering. Though my relationship with God was in a slump, I asked God, "Why?" and prayed he would turn things around.

I was previously immersed in worldly wisdom, but in my small group, I began reading Scripture about how to change the direction of my life. One evening, the Holy Spirit showed me how to find contentment. John 12:24 states, "The truth is, a kernel of wheat must be planted in the soil. Unless it dies it will be alone—a single seed. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives."

I knew I had to die to myself and to the "accomplished" person I thought I was. God took away my success, and out of that death and brokenness came new life. I'm happy with my new identity; now I'm discovering how to multiply believers and bless others—something I'd never considered before.

When I look back at that broken time in my life, I look back with gratitude that God walked me through it and had a purpose for it.

My encouragement is this: Don't be afraid to go to God with the deep hurts of your life—he can take it. He wants to hear your hurts and be the one who provides for you. In fact, you have to go to the depths, crying out for God's mercy, in order to hear God speak. And he will speak. When he does, you'll finally know his purpose for your life.

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